Another year on of dad being part of our lives. I do a lot of self reflection. How lucky I am still to have my dad and its important to recognise the fathers in your life. Whether that be biological or step fathers or other father figures in your life. Happy fathers day to all my readers out there hope you and your fathers have a fantastic day.
Upon self reflection, whilst I am not a father myself, i do learn a lot from my father and what it is to be part of a lovely family. My father worked a lot when me and my brother were growing up and needed rest at the weekends after a busy week at work. This is something I've truly appreciated me being at his age when me and my brother were young. But dad did everything in his power to care and support our family. Yes, i taught myself diy, and ruined half my dads tools in the process. But I don't feel sad about this i learnt alot about carpentry and painted and decorated my first room when i was 13.
See its interesting and fascinating when you look at how peoples lives could have turned out, had my dad not been working so much and needing rest at weekends would I be as good at carpentry and other DIY that I am today. Whilst i can't answer that question as i can not travel between realities.
With age you gain wisdom, in many areas in life, and understanding family life is something i struggled with for years. But to be honest, i have a fantastic father and mother. We get on really well and support each other. Being a father is not just biological but a role you can take on your own father. Which sounds strange but as both mum and dad age. The more support they will need. The same with my brother, i kind of had to guide my brother growing up and being that father figure. Sure we both got into a bit of trouble but nothing serious, but kids do when they are growing up. Its part of the experience of growing up. My brother is brilliant, and again always a pleasure to see him when he comes over as he lives and works away.
But learning how to be a father is part and parcel of family life. I nearly was a biological father couple of times over the years. I nearly was with my ex wife but our marriage broke apart and I never got any closure. I ended up taking rest bite in hospital at the start of covid. It took me several years to get over my divorce. No closure is a hard one. Suddenly cut off not knowing the outcome. But my mum is probably right, if he is my son, he may well come looking for me in later years, or he may not as well. If he doesn't want to know me as he grows, then i wish him all the best with his life.
I think, he's got to make sense of the world in his own way and make his own decisions when he's old enough. But again is doesn't choke me up as I know God is doing the right thing for me and my possible son. As i don't know 100% if he's mine. But going back to previous in this article, its not being a biological father than makes you a father. Its about the lessons passed down, the experiences you share and watching them grow into becoming people in their own right with their own thoughts and ideas.
I said that my ex wife was my last shot at being a father and i stick by that due to age. I'm not saying old men can't be fathers but in my own opinion I just don't think its fair on a child to raise them if your too old as kids take a lot of work to raise and i feel this takes someone with youth on their side Again this is just my opinion but not everyone is the same and if being an older father works for someone then that's fine. If think the other reason, i knew my ex wife was my last shot at being a father and possibly my son not being mine biologically is my sperm quality wasn't great and stood a greater difficulty in getting someone pregnant. Its funny as its always seen as women being in fertile but it can happen to blokes too. Me and my ex wife were talking about adopting but then she fell pregnant. But i just knew with the series of events around the time of my marriage breakdown that God had different plans in store for me and family like, in the sense, of being a biological father was not one of them.
You then try to find greater meaning in purpose in life and it took some adjustment going from settling down and starting a family to try and fill a void in my life. But thankfully, i had hobbies & interests that i liked doing and a great family & friend network around me to support my recovery.
So what im trying to say in a nutshell, is whether, you are a biological father, a step dad, or a father figure in someone's life i want to wish you all a happy fathers day. Dad really enjoyed a treat on my behalf of a fry up at baytree garden centre. Happy fathers day dad.
